Friday, February 13, 2009

My Dear Valentine

A year ago, I wrote a series of articles on spousal abuse for Crossroads for Women. The following is one of them; it appeared in the Times & Transcript on February 11th. I'm not sure how long it will stay online...

My Dear Valentine
© copyright 2008 Deborah Carr

My Dear Valentine:

This Valentine's Day, please don't tell me you love me with flowers and chocolates, or even a sappy card, just so you can brag to your friends that you earned brownie points. I'd rather have your undivided attention, just for an evening. It will cost you nothing but your time.

And don't bother buying me that last-minute guilt present or making empty promises you cannot keep. I'm smarter than that and my heart needs to be warmed more than once or twice a year.

Instead, love me in small ways; love me in the everyday things you do and with the words you say. Love me with a look, a touch, a gesture, a squeeze of my hand.

Love me today, like there may not be tomorrow.

Love me by encouraging me to be the best I can be, by understanding my need to be valued by you.

Love me by treating me as an equal, not a subordinate, or even a possession.

Love me by being pleased with my successes, not threatened. Love me by consciously choosing to speak a compliment, rather than voice an insult....

To read the rest, click here. Happy Valentines Day to all.


Diane said...

Sorry I'm late getting to this. What a lovely tribute to women. This type of message can cross boundaries. Well said.

Gwen Buchanan said...

Indeed, things to make a life worth living... Great Letter!