Monday, July 5, 2010
My heart is too full for words.
So may I simply introduce my grandson, Colin Devin Denis? Born June 28 in Winnipeg, he was named for his infant brother, Devin - our first grandchild -who was born a tiny perfect person, yet without breath or heartbeat, one short year ago - June 6th. His brief appearance sliced our hearts in two. His presence lingers, always.
It was so hard to wait for Colin's arrival. On the surface, cheery, optimistic, hopeful. But underneath, our joy, our anticipation was tainted with worry. Worry for him; for my stepdaughter's health. But suddenly, nine months passed and there he was.
And here we are now. Grandparents. Who will I be? Grammie? Nan? Someone else?
I'm floored. Scared. Awed. Oh I know...there are hordes, stacks, piles and miles of grandparents before me, but I feel like the first. My world changed in an instant.
I'm quite taken with this little man - can't stop looking at photos. My attention wanders from work. I awake in the night thinking of him. His Winnipeg family has held him, smelled him, snuggled him...they know him already, have looked into his eyes...yet we know him only through pictures as we anxiously count days until our trip out west.
The waiting is Unbearable.