Friday, September 10, 2010

Goodbye Forties

Less than an hour left...I'm spending it with my Forties.

 
We're reliving the great moments, along with the tearful goodbyes, the full-to-bursting moments, the gaping bottomless holes.  Grief. Laughter. Deep sighs. Groping blindly. The vistas and landscapes imprinted in my heart, the growings and shrinkings, striving and letting go, the serenity and jittering upheavals. I don't even know how to write about it all, the scenes fly through my mind like flickering silent film, but through it all, I know I've been moving forward, somehow stepping into nothing, but finding solid ground, pushing through dense fog and finding sunlight, swimming upward, straining, lungs bursting, thinking I can't go any further, but suddenly breaking free and gulping the wind in the leaves, sometimes tossing back and forth, clinging to branches, scared and helpless in the storm, yet still finding the strength to hang on, to look forward, to trust. Always to trust.

Oh, what a tumultuous, tremendous decade you have been, Forty. I can honestly say,you have been the best of my life and yet, I know (somehow) that there are fireworks to come. That I am just beginning to wade into the depths that will define my life. So many thoughts and threads that are weaving into something...I know not what...yet. But I trust in my worth, my value, my destiny. Goodbye Forties. Hello Fifty. We're gonna rock together...you and I. We're just getting warmed up.

11 comments:

Jo said...

Happy Birthday! At 47 I can sooo relate.

Shayla said...

Indeed. "The best moments of your life have yet to be discovered." I don't remember who wrote that now, but it's entirely fitting for you. Have a special day, Deborah.

Shelley said...

What a wonderful celebration of life! I am certainly looking forward to many more in the 50's my dear. You look great, you are out and about and always on the go - from what I hear, that is the secret to being young. May you be young forever Deb.

Relyn said...

I'm about to begin my forties. I hope they are like yours - the best yet. Oh, I hope so. Mostly, though, what I wanted to say was Happy, happy birthday. Happy, happy birthday to you!!!!

One Woman's Journey said...

For you - I think the best is yet to come. You are a beautiful young woman. You are the age of my oldest daughter. Happy Birthday!!

Tabor said...

Happy Birthday you young girl.

Amy said...

Here's to you ... and a new decade ... may it outshine all the rest...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Carolynn said...

Happy Birthday! My own 50th is just around the corner and I'm only a little surprised to discover that I'm looking forward to the next decade. Women in their 50's rock!

gg said...

oh happy belated birthday deborah! i hope you felt that the day of 40 was not so bad. i have loved my past few years of the 40th kind. things just seam to fall in place.
sending you birthday love.

altadenahiker said...

You get fireworks?

Deborah Carr said...

Doesn't everyone? :-)

(Actually, these ones were taken on July 1st Canada Day.)