Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Shadow and Light...

Two nights ago, I stood beneath the stars...beneath a sky both cold and blazing, empty and grandiose, mysterious and mesmerizing. Beneath a brilliance of glittering light, emblazoned on shadows as deep as the universe is vast. Beneath meteors on flaming paths that disappeared before I could be certain they even existed.

I stood, feeling every inch of cold flaming my skin, every breath chilling my lungs, feeling vividly alive, larger than life, yet infinitesimally small and insignificant. The paradox of living. Where each of us is vitally important within our own realm, yet as tiny as a mote of dust or single snowflake within God's realm.

The crystalline clarity of the night brought home what I love about winter.

Winter is a time for reflection, a signal for me to hibernate,
to sink deep within the cozy comfort of home and family.

For me to look out and see clearly to the horizons...
across fields, the curves and hummocks laid bare and white, all life sleeping underground.

Through the forest with its trees stripped of leaves, devoid of colour...

I see the bones of them, with their crooked trunks and twisted limbs, unadorned, as they truly are.

Bare shadows and light.

It is time, also for me to look see myself,
without the window dressing of my interactions with others,
or the faces I turn to the world.

To look deeply within and to examine my own hidden landscape,
the interplay of my own shadows and light and how one serves the other,
the mystery of who I am and who I might be. 
The bones of my own true nature.

"Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace."
Frederick Beuchner,  Now & Then: A Memoir of Vocation


Tabor said...

This is lovely and certainly resonates with me this time of year, although, as I am aging I do not look forward to winter's slower pace as I used to.

Photographic art by Diane said...

You are able to put into words EXACTLY how I feel and what I think inwardly, although I'm never able to express is to poignantly or with such clarity. No wonder I'm drawn to your blog.

PS: Love your photos too.

Sandra said...

Deborah, you are able to put thoughts/feelings into words and words into thoughts/feelings.

This is a gift.

Thanks for sharing your gift with us.

Deborah Carr said...

Sandra, this blog has truly been a gift to me, as it gives me a reason to ask myself the hard questions, to reflect on what I am feeling and to shape and put words to my ideas and thoughts.

But - perhaps most importantly - it brings the loveliest, kindest, most interesting people to my 'blogstep', allowing me to be enriched by the wealth of their individual thoughts and ideas, as well.

deb said...

I've just been sitting with this post since I read it earlier.

Everything about it is as beautiful as you.

Thank you so much for this.

Relyn said...

These are really gorgeous images. My goodness - I feel blown away. Happy new year, too, my friend. May it bring you everything you dream of.

Carolynn said...

What hidden hand guided me here to you today? That beautiful quote you included at the end is exactly what I needed to hear.

I'm not a fan of winter, although, I do relate to the unrelenting urge to hibernate my way through it. I really love, love the photo of the snowy banks lining the still creek. Beautiful.


P.S. I echo your sentiments about blogging & blog friends, exactly. *hugs*

Lis said...

such gorgeous, poetic and inspiring images and words ... i have struggled this winter for no apparent reason and this post has me thinking deeply about the space and time the season allows for introspection. Thank you for that! And my god, to capture such evocative images of winter! now i feel stimulated and curious ...

xo lis

Deborah Carr said...

Carolynn and Lis - I'm learning that I don't have to be energetic or positive or peppy or productive all the time, nor am I meant to be.

I'm trying to break from my belief that I need to be doing something productive or I've wasted a day.

One Woman's Journey said...

Your words beyond anything I could say about them.
Beautiful are the words, images and you!!